.Publisher's Details: The observing is actually the message of a letter coming from Trip 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reflecting on the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created significantly about specifics of the mission during the course of the month I've been below, generally for 2 reasons: the initial being that there has actually been really little time to accomplish that kind of creating, and also secondly given that I am actually unsure just how comfortable I am sharing notions I provide friends and family with the remainder of the world.Effectively, clearly the world modified today. What I mention or carry out is actually very small contrasted to the importance of what occurred to our country today when it was actually struck by ... by whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I suppose. Hard to recognize at whom to guide our anger and fear ...I had only completed a lot of duties today, the absolute most lengthy being actually the physical examinations of all crew members. In an exclusive discussion adhering to that, the air travel plastic surgeon informed me they were possessing a really negative day on the ground. I had no idea ...He defined the situation to me as greatest he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually amazed, then terrified. My very first notion was actually that this had not been an actual discussion, that I was still listening to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It merely failed to appear feasible on this scale in our nation. I couldn't also imagine the details, even before the news of additional devastation began can be found in.Vladimir dropped in quite promptly, picking up that something quite significant was being reviewed. I swung Michael into the component too. They were also amazed as well as stunned. After we signed off, I tried to clarify to Vladimir and also Michael as greatest I could possibly the possible measurement of this particular show of horror in downtown New york and at the Pentagon. They plainly comprehended and also were actually extremely sympathetic.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the personal computer to observe where over the world our team were actually as well as saw that our experts were actually happening southeast out of Canada as well as will be skipping New England in a couple of moments. I whized around the station until I found a window that would offer me a viewpoint of NYC as well as took hold of the closest electronic camera. It occurred to become a camera, and I was actually appearing south from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to have a weird flower to it at the foundation of the column that was actually streaming south of the metropolitan area. After reading through one of the newspaper article our company merely obtained, I believe we were taking a look at NY around the moment of, or even not long after, the collapse of the 2nd high rise. How dreadful ...I swept the camera during the East Shoreline to the south to view if I could see any other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, but nothing was visible.It was actually quite hard to consider job after that, though our company possessed some to perform, but on the following track our experts traversed the United States additional south. All three of us were functioning a couple of video cameras to make an effort to obtain sights of New york city or Washington. There was haze over Washington, but no details resource may be observed. It all appeared extraordinary coming from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can't envision the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Apart from the mental impact of our country being attacked as well as 1000s of our people as well as possibly some good friends being actually gotten rid of, the most mind-boggling feeling being where I am actually is just one of seclusion.Upcoming day ... I reckon the fatigue as well as mental strain received the greatest of me. I could not remain awake as well as continue to write. Today was still complicated, yet our company began obtaining additional relevant information, plus we possessed the respect of speaking directly with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, that ensured our team that the ground groups will remain to operate and also ensure our security, as well as the risk-free procedure of the Station. Our company additionally heard from our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who included that the partners in the Course are actually all completely dedicated to proceeding safe operations as well as help. These were never ever inquiries for me. I know all these folks! The ground staffs have actually been actually incredibly supportive, quite understanding of the effect of the news, and have actually made an effort to be as valuable as feasible. They have all been quite specialist and focused though I can't visualize the diversion of the type of headlines being available in and the idea that authorities buildings may be at risk. They never skipped a beat, also when relocating nerve center. And also a group of senior staffs and buddies gave us a quite complete instruction on what was understood as well as what was actually being performed in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was very helpful as well as kind of them to carry out in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has actually also been actually encouraging as well as useful, attempting to uplink news articles when our very own assets were unusable, and also mentioning kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been actually terrific, also. They know it is actually been a challenging day for me and also the people on the ground, and they have actually tried to become as also keeled and helpful as possible. Michael even corrected me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. And also they offer me loads of room to assume when I needed it. They are quite understanding and certainly outraged at whoever would perform this.I understand a lot of people in Washington, a lot of people who travel to DC and also New York City, many that are flies, that I experienced sure I would certainly receive at least a couple of pieces of problem over the upcoming handful of days. I obtained the first one today when I found out that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that reached the Government was Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I found Chic during cadet summer months when our company remained in the D&B with each other, as well as our experts possessed lots of classes together. I can not picture what he must of undergone, and also currently I listen to that he might possess increased even more than our team can easily also think of through perhaps stopping his airplane from being actually the one to attack the White House. What a horrible loss, but I make sure Chic was actually fighting fearlessly throughout. And rips do not circulate the same precede ...It's hard to illustrate exactly how it feels to become the only American fully off the planet at once like this. The emotion that I ought to exist along with every one of you, managing this, helping in some way, is actually overwhelming. I recognize that our team perform the limit (or even past) of a horrible switch in the history of the globe. Numerous traits are going to never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Not just for the manies thousand as well as countless people straight influenced by these hideous acts of violence, yet perhaps for everyone. Our team will find ourselves experiencing in a different way regarding dozens of things, consisting of probably area exploration, however.It is actually terrible to find smoke cigarettes pouring from cuts in your own nation coming from such an amazing viewpoint. The duality of being on a space probe dedicated to enhancing live on the planet and also checking out life being damaged through such premeditated, dreadful actions is jolting to the mind, despite who you are. As well as the knowledge that every little thing are going to be different than when our experts launched due to the opportunity our team land is a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and in our management that our company will perform everything achievable to better guard her as well as our family members, as well as to bring compensation of what has been actually done. I possess confidence that the excellent folks at NASA will do whatever necessary to continue our purpose securely and also return our team safely at the correct time. And I miss each one of you quite. I can not be there along with you personally, and also our experts possess a long way to go to complete our purpose, yet be actually specific that my soul is along with you, and recognize you remain in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final character ... Luckily, it is actually been actually a hectic week up below. As well as to verify that, like our country, our experts are continuing our designated course along with organization customarily (as high as feasible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Chamber will be actually released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (United States opportunity), it will dock along with our company, at a slot never ever made use of prior to on the low point side of the Service Module. This brand new component will certainly give our team an additional area to dock a Development or even Soyuz as well as will supply a huge airlock along with 2 useable hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our experts will perform a few of prior to our experts return.The complication before in handling this week was actually inadequate updates. The problem right now is excessive. It came at one time when e-mail was repaired, and there's inadequate time to review it all! Plus it is actually also tough to cope with all of it immediately. But I value receiving it, and I really cherish the great letters of help and also friendship I am obtaining.Our team are actually prospering on board, obtaining our work performed, and referring to points. Final evening our team had a lengthy discussion over dinner about the significance of these activities, the feasible actions to comply with, and what must be actually done. After dinner, Michael made a point of informing me that every e-mail he obtained coming from good friends in Russia mentioned exclusively to inform me exactly how sorry they were that this happened, prolonging their condolences, and also asking how I was doing. Vladimir educated me the Russian term for "acknowledgements" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Urban area. (Both the Russian and also the English phrases are much too long to verbalize easily.) Quite types individuals.For the final 2 days, the Russian MCC has been good enough to transmit online shows of broadcast news concerning the event as well as associated stories, to make sure I was actually well informed. Every specialist who has actually begun free throw line to cover a procedure or even a concern contends some point expanded introductions to me with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that as a result of the wedding of recognition in the US, throughout the day people had been actually taking flowers as well as edging all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, and also this evening they were lighting candlesticks in the road outside the consular office. How the globe has changed.Folks everywhere seem to realize the senselessness and also horror within this assault. And also the significant loss. Moscow has coped with these type of issues in the last couple of years with house as well as subway battles, so they are actually as troubled to get rid of this risk as our team are. But the bottom line is actually that there are actually great people anywhere who would like to live in peace. I go through that a little one inquired, "America is therefore good to other countries, our team consistently aid everyone, exactly how can they loathe our company a great deal?".I hope the example of cooperation as well as depend on that this spacecraft plus all the people in the course show daily will someday influence the remainder of the globe to operate similarly. They must!Unfortunately, our company will not be actually flying over the United States while folks are lighting candles. Don't know if we might see that anyhow. Our experts did, nonetheless, view an extremely unusual and also lovely view a handful of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our experts were actually surpassing it and also it came into view regarding 3 moments after its own launch from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our terminal, so it was actually still in the dark. It resembled a sizable comet with a directly, vast rear silhouetted versus the dark earth below. Regardless of some poor lighting fixtures for some time as the sun attacked our home window at a low viewpoint, I handled some video of it as initially we passed the spacecraft, and after that watched it begin to mesmerize as it acquired elevation and also rate. I filmed up until principal motor deadline and booster splitting up took place equally our experts approached dawn on the Mountain ranges. An extraordinary attraction in a memorable full week ...Lifestyle happens, also in space. Our company are actually right here to stay ... Frank.